Imagine... your child is 21 years old. You're sitting opposite them.
I remember asking my husband, John these exact questions before our first-born, Avery entered Earthside.
As a 9-year-old, 16-year-old, and even to my adult years - I found that I couldn't "be myself" with my parents and I couldn't share my challenges, ask for help when I needed, and only showed them a side of me that they would approve. It was an exceptionally "curated" relationship.
I'm sure in their world; they wanted me to reach out for help, to open up, and want me to feel "safe" with them.
However - what our parents want is one thing; what we feel is safe is another.
That's the same for our own families.
What we believe and who we are for our children is one thing, and what they feel maybe another.
Feeling safe, seen, and understood is an "earnt" experience. Too often, as parents, we fall into an unconscious pattern of "assuming" that our children will always come to us when they are vulnerable.
Yes - they do that when they are young, and if we don't honour and hold this space with generosity, they won't turn to us when they are older.
...and it is in their teenage years and early adult-hood that they are seeking mentorship and guidance the most.
This is where creating a Vision for parenthood matters. We create vision boards, vision statements, we write out our dreams... so why not do it for Parenting?
Creating a Vision for Parenting - is your North Star. This North Star guides us when we are challenged. It guides us day by day, choice by choice.
To be a trusted source, in which our children will turn to us in their most tested and challenging times, is an earnt experience.
When we develop a relationship with Parenting, such that it is more about our growth, our expansion, our healing and transformation - versus about "controlling" and "moulding our children" - we open up the doorway to connection, joy, and fulfilment.
And this is why creating a Vision for Parenting matters.
This Vision for Parenting is unique to you - and it isn't about your child. It is about who you get to be, who you get to become, and how you show up in Parenting.
What if, the purpose of Parenting was to contribute to our expansion, healing, and growth - versus being seen as a "job"? How would you feel about yourself as a parent? How would this viewpoint help you navigate the testing times?
Food for thought.