Are you afraid things won't change?

Or are you afraid that you can't change?
Or do you struggle with understanding "what the block is" and "if only someone can tell me what to do"?

I've been there.

I was once afraid that I was stuck with the way I am. Back then, nothing I did seemed to work, and I couldn't feel what I wanted to feel.

Safe to be me. 

I tried so hard; I did every course, I paid coaches and mentors, and I kept seeking.

What I didn't realise was I kept seeking to be saved.

I kept seeking, thinking that the answers were outside of me. 

And I wasn't actually seeking transformation - I was seeking to feel better.

Two very important distinctions here.

IT HIT ME when I realised I was seeking to feel better and be saved.

I wasn't interested in changing. I was interested in being a victim while pretending I wanted to change.

Here's the irony. I would invest in programs and people who didn't walk the talk - because they would buy into my BS.

And for those who held me accountable or had the process that would actually work - and they had the life I wanted - I didn't follow through. 

I wanted the quick fix. And I wanted to be saved.

Until I realised no one was coming, no one could save me, and I am it. 

That was the very moment I claimed back my power. 

From that place, I invested in different mentors/ teachers and coaches - and I did the work.

Whether I felt like it or not... because I was no longer interested in being a victim of chasing a feeling.

I was more invested in being the truest version of me. 

And to be the truest version of me, I had to break up with everything that was untrue about me.

Every version of me that wasn't me, had to die.

That's not easy. Nor is it comfortable. And that's called "transformation".

Change is HARD at first, completely MESSY in the middle - and beautiful in the end.

Everyone wants the "beautiful in the end"....and the "beautiful in the end" results from meeting our mess.

And that's scary.

Because once you meet your mess, you have to be the one that cleans it up.

No one else can clean it up for you. 

I love working with parents because you can't escape your mess. Why?

Because if you don't clean up your mess - you're passing it on to your children - and sooner or later, someone has to clean up the mess.

I don't want my children to spend their life cleaning up a mess that isn't theirs. That's a misuse of their time here on Earth. 

My mess is my responsibility. 

What I realised about parenting and relationships is that they mirror my inner world - and you cannot hide. 

Our closest relationships will reflect to us whether we are "creators of our reality" or whether we are "victims of our reality". 

How?

The ease, the deep connection, the flow, the vulnerability, courage and safety are a co-created experience.

OR

The lack of connection, the struggle for intimacy, or the overwhelm, frustration, and exhaustion will reinforce a story and an identity you have about yourself.

To be the creator of our reality is to take ownership of what really matters and hold yourself accountable to bring, generate, and be that in the relationship - and "be" that person irrespective of your circumstances. 

To be a victim is to suffer in silence and become completely swept up by our emotional and chemical reactions or protect ourselves from disappointment and disconnection by being rigid, defensive, critical, judgmental and perfectionist. 

To be a creator is to be unstoppable in the face of no agreement.
And to be a victim is to live with reasons. It's a reasonable life with predictable outcomes. 

When you become a parent, the moment you realise you're either becoming your mother or father or experiencing the same disconnection, frustration and loneliness as you were growing up in your relationship - that's your wake-up call. 

And you're either going to meet that mess, OR pretend it's not there, sweep it under the rug, and continue to be disillusioned why you don't have the life you want... and continue to ignore what's going to move you forward.

It takes courage to meet our mess.
It takes vulnerability to meet our shadow.
And it takes so much compassion not to make it mean anything about us....
And an unrelenting fierceness to choose to take a different action by cleaning up our mess and bringing light to our shadow.

That's the work to do. 

That's Love in action.

So... I'm here to tell you that you can change. And the version of you, in her truest and most authentic self, the one in her power, is waiting for you.

And.... to become her - meet your mess. Love yourself enough to meet this mess, and in doing so, that's called a miracle.

That's when you will experience being a miracle - and you've shifted that wake-up call to waking up to the truth of who you are.

No one is coming. And no one is coming to save you.
Because you never needed saving.

What you need is to wake up to the powerful creator that lives within you.

Sending love,

Yummii xx

PS Are you going through a wake-up call and looking for your next step? 

Are you ready to meet your mess - so your children aren't the ones left to clean it?

Reach out here.