Celebrating being parents of two!

Uncategorized Jan 06, 2021

For the rest of our lives, New Years Day has a brand new meaning.

Our second child, Brooklyn, celebrates his b'day on the 1st of January. On 1.1.2021, he turned 1. 

I love that for the rest of his life, it's one big celebration around the world. That's pretty magical.

Imagine the theme of your b'day being a celebration, new beginnings, and new possibilities! :)

To celebrate, I bought 3 cupcakes;
- One for Brooklyn to celebrate his first revolution around the Sun!
- One for Avery to celebrate his first year of being a big brother
- One for John & I to celebrate being parents of two (and keeping them alive! LOL)

We went to our local park, blew out some candles, he then crawled around in the dirt with his brother and spent time in nature.

It was simple... and we have no doubt he feels seen, heard, and understood.

...and we feel that we are amazing parents. 

2020 was all about giving ourselves grace as we transition from a family of 3 to 4.

I could share about Brooklyn's milestones and how delicious he is!... However, I'm going to share something I wish EVERY couple takes into account when they start a family.

When a couple has a child, a brand new family is born.

Inside this family are 9 brand new relationships.

For the mother:
- There is the relationship she has to "motherhood" (her stories/ her beliefs/ her fears/ her assumptions)
- There is the relationship she has with her partner/ spouse as "parents" (this is in addition to them being a couple)
- There is the relationship she has to her brand new child
.... You then do this for the other partner/ spouse, and then the child.

Imagine what it took for you to "get to know" your partner before you committed to each other? Imagine the "energy" and the "time" that was invested in creating the relationship?

That's 1 relationship.

9 brand new relationships are created in a family when you have 1 child.

You add a second child into the family, and it looks like this:

For the mother:
- The relationship she has as a mother of 2 children
- The relationship she has with her partner/ spouse being parents of 2 children
- A brand new relationship to the new child that is born
- The relationship she has to what it means to be a younger sibling (all the stories/ assumptions/ unconscious narratives and expectations)

You multiply that by 4 people in the household, and that's 16 brand new relationships in the family dynamic.

I hope you feel the "enormity" of it. Because it is.

Creating a foundation for a family to thrive is conscious effort and energy. Modern society isn't interested in families thriving.

My invitation, if you're a parent, is this:

Take ownership of what will make your family, and you thrive.

So many people give away their power, and their family dynamic revolves around Modern Society's expectations.

IT'S YOUR FAMILY.

Your children aren't asking you to suffer and sacrifice. In fact, when you do - everyone suffers.

The obligation and resentment that spills over from self-sacrifice and being a martyr costs everyone connection, peace of mind, and really being able to see, hear, and understand each other.

I know what that feels like as a child....and on some level... you may too.

Your children aren't seeking perfect parents.

They are seeking parents that know how to love and accept their imperfections.

Your children are seeking for you to give yourself grace, forgiveness, kindness, compassion.... because when you do - you'll be able to meet them with the same sincerity when they falter.

...And as a parent, the gift of having children is this. Slowing down.

Having 16 new relationships enter our family... it has been quite the journey.

Just the other day, John and I were tested and so I reached out to an extraordinary coach and close friend of mine asking for wisdom on the impact of "Parenting" and our "Marriage" (...and I'm a coach!).

Creating a family is a BIG deal.

So thank-you to Brooklyn entering our lives in 2020, John and I have had to learn to love ourselves and who we are at profound new levels - and he was the catalyst.

My intention is this. If you're a parent, feel the enormity of what it takes to create a thriving family.

Acknowledge yourself. Celebrate yourself. Forgive yourself. Love on yourself.

Slow down. Take back your power. Take ownership of how you want your family to be.

Because...the regret isn't going to be that you wished you enjoyed parenting more....

The regret is going to kick in, when you see your child, as an adult struggling to feel loved, worthy, and enough.... because you were their permission slip.

Have 2021 be a year where you open your heart, to you - so they can grow-up to open their heart, for themselves.

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