Choosing to thrive

Uncategorized Apr 30, 2020

Today was Avery's 4th b'day. Four years ago, Avery gave me the opportunity and gift of Motherhood.

I've had a few people in the last week share their fears on Motherhood (they aren't currently mothers). It is something they "desire" - yet "fearful" of the possibility that they may lose themself in the process. 

They asked me if I felt I had lost my identity? Or feel less of myself?

I remember the moment so vividly. I was standing in our kitchen, making myself a warm breakfast. Avery was three weeks old. Earlier that morning, I had a shower, put on my make-up, got changed and got ready for the day. Avery was napping at this moment.

I'm waiting for my toast - and this moment came over me.

I have never felt so successful. I felt "whole" - and "humbled". I was able to have a shower, have a hot breakfast, and later that day I was going to get a hot chocolate. I realised that "wholeness" was a choice.

Then this thought came... "For me to honour my choice as a mother; and to love this process, I am to love who I am..."

To love who I am, my soul is to be nurtured and nourished - and I'm to fall in love with who I am, who I am becoming, and make it a priority to be "overflowing".

That my cup is full. 

In choosing to thrive, I give our child permission to thrive.

My level of connection, love, what I give is directly correlated to how connected, loving, and what I'm giving to myself. 

We can only give what we have; we can only teach that which we understand. 

So during the last four years, I haven't lost myself. Nor have I lost my identity. 

The last four years, I've grown more in love with who I am - because that's what I want for Avery. 

I pursue that which makes my heart sing - with fullness and honour. Free from guilt/ shame/ or any Fear that I'm taking away from the children, my family or my role of Motherhood.

Thriving isn't a luxury. 

And, it takes effort and commitment.

Effort to say no to things, people, circumstances that don't serve me. Effort to continuously invest in my awareness, growth, and taking radical responsibility that I am at the epicentre of what I give, where I give, and how I give. 

Commitment to challenging the status quo. Commitment to choosing thriving over surviving. Commitment to invalidate social conditioning or to live out the story that survival, sacrifice, suffering and being a martyr is the only pathway available as a mother.

Survival, suffering, self-sacrifice, being a martyr, was NOT on the agenda. Living and giving from a place of obligation, guilt, and shame was something I was going to discontinue from my lineage and culture. It wasn't an inheritance that I was taking on. 

It is an illusion that the only way to be a great mother is to compromise your light.

Choosing to thrive is the access to enjoying Motherhood, and enjoying who we become in that process. Choosing to thrive as a way of life can permeate through all the other areas of our life.

It starts with loving who we are - and opening up the floodgates of "worthiness". We are worthy of thriving.

The last four years, Avery has gifted me the opportunity of transformation and healing. 

When I choose to thrive - the wounds, the hurt, living out generational conditioning stops with me. It stops here. 

I hold myself accountable to thrive - because that's a powerful and expansive legacy - that will give on giving for generations to come.

I may never get recognition or acknowledgement; I won't have a building named after me or a plaque with my name printed on it. It may not be "official" that I have made a difference... 

And in my heart, in my being, I know I have left the world in a better place than as I entered.

When we love who we are, when we thrive - we are giving, living, and expressing our life from that infinite well. That's a beautiful legacy. That's a soulful purpose. And everyone benefits.

On a scale of 1 - 10; how full is your cup?

On a scale of 1 - 10; do you believe that it's possible to thrive? And while being a mother?

Self-sacrifice, suffering, surviving, and being a martyr - serves no-one. It perpetuates pain and diminishes the light within. 

My invitation, for this week, take on this question before you commit or do anything; "Does this contribute to me thriving?". Listen to the whispers and have the courage to challenge your own habitual doing. 

... What if more mothers were thriving? What kind of ripple would that create in our world? Food for thought. 

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