Do you or your partner get defensive?

Do you or your partner get defensive?

...and if it's your partner that gets defensive, do you shut down, or are you relentless, and you don't back down?

When I discovered The Four Horsemen and Attachment Theory, I could see why my relationships didn't work. 

And more importantly, I was able to take ownership of my part. I could see how I contributed to my relationships in unhealthy ways.

I had a pattern of shutting down.

I also had a pattern of being anxious about whether I was doing enough or whether they loved me.... OR completely avoidant, and the sign of any disconnection, I'll withdraw my effort and energy to protect myself first.

And.... The crazier part is that I could start a company, I could travel the world on my own, I was "successful" on paper - and was a complete mess when it came to relationships.

So how did I turn it around?

Awareness is the first part.

Being aware of what it is that you do that is unhealthy and out of alignment with what you want.

Then you need to take ACTION.

Every time I wanted to shut down, I could feel the chemical reactions in my body. These chemical reactions make my Mind/body think there is danger and I need to protect myself. The auto-pilot behaviour is to "close up, build the walls, and shut down".

By now, I knew this way of being is NOT healthy in a relationship. 

So.... I would breathe... feel it all.. and I took an action that would interrupt the pattern of shutting down.

In my marriage to John, I would go over, hold his hand, and say, "I hate that we're like this, and I love you..."

The "pattern interrupt" is everything. 

It's really easy to see where someone else is falling short or how they are self-sabotaging themselves.

What's harder, yet the most important thing, is to master ourselves.

That is the greatest act of Love.

I'm an expert in guiding people in the awareness of their patterns; and teaching them how to "interrupt their patterns". 

And the only way to call in a different life for yourself is to interrupt your existing patterns - and create new ones.

As parents, our children desperately want us to love them as they are...and the only way we can love them as they are if we learn how to love ourselves as we are.....

And we can only love ourselves as we are... once we stop judging our patterns - and seeing them for what they are....and trust ourselves to create patterns that are loving and expansive to us.

Patterns. Neural pathways. Chemical reactions. Mind/ Body in Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn.

So then... if you understand that your patterns are from your Mind/ Body.... guess how you create new patterns?

From your Heart.

The mind that creates the problem cannot be the same mind that solves it.

Get into relationship with your Heart - create patterns of being from a state of truth, from a state of Love... 

And you're free.

That's why I call it, Meet Fear with Love. 

Easy to do? No. 

Can you figure this out on your own?.... If you could, you would have already.

The quickest and easiest way to do this is to find someone who has gone through what you have gone through that can resonate with your patterns because they had those patterns - and they are WELL on the other side - and being a living demonstration of possibility.

That's the 4-minute mile effect.

Sending love,
Yummii 

PS If you haven't already, to figure out why you're stuck, I highly recommend my Masterclass, "A Greater Understanding of Infinity". 

I share the framework I guide my clients through that helps them master interrupting their patterns.

I know it will give you so much clarity. And Clarity is power.