He said, "Don't give up on me...."

A few months ago, I was feeling completely defeated in our marriage.

Not because of John. I knew he loved me.

I could see a new edge coming up... The version of me that just wants to be alone and doesn't need anyone....and is SO afraid of how great life can be.

I could feel it.... it's so familiar.

However, to ride that experience in my body, was hard.

Consciously, I know, John is an incredible father, and husband. And in my body, unconsciously, there was this restlessness....of how much I've changed, and I couldn't reconcile it between us.

However, the anchor that I understood about Love was this.

Love is choosing.

I knew even if I ended the relationship with John, this pattern would just come up elsewhere in another relationship once my chemical high comes down.

AND I also knew what was needed was an energy shift within each of us individually, and us as a couple.

There was this one night, we couldn't move forward in a conversation.

My mind kept going to familiar thoughts - OH, so familiar. I WANT OUT. Not personal to him... just a default behaviour. (Note, if it's familiar, it's a pattern!).

Before going to bed, I meditate and communicate with my Higher Self.

I teach a very simple "surrender" process to my clients that I use daily.

And so I "surrendered" this experience.

I also teach my Higher Self Mastery clients how to communicate with their Higher Self and receive guidance.

So before my meditation this evening, I did that too.

I surrendered and opened up the portal to receive guidance in my meditation.

As soon as I dropped into the void, John's Higher Self came into my meditation.

And he said the words; "Don't give up on me...."

As soon as I heard this message in my meditation, tears started coming down.. and I got to the truth of what was going on.

We have a ritual that "Every day is a brand new day".

No matter what happened the previous day, allow it stay there.

So the next morning, I came downstairs after my morning meditation and gave him a hug.

"Your Higher Self came to me in mediation last night." I shared. "And he said, Don't give up on me... Do you feel I give up on you?"

He got teary. Those were the words that he didn't know, that he didn't know needed to be said.

"I'm really trying. My biggest fear is that you don't see how hard I'm trying." And there it is.

The safe clearing for the vulnerability and courage to arise.

To create safety in a relationship is HARD. Because you really have to be a space. A clearing. Bringing wholeness, neutrality, and groundedness to it all.

When conflict gets too hard, my avoidance patterns come up. NOW patterns don't go away.

They morph. They get clever. They evolve. Your satisfaction, the fulfilment that you're looking for, the connection, the "Love" comes down to your ability of navigating your patterns, together.

I repeat. TOGETHER.

The African proverb that really hits home for me around relationships is this.

"If you want to get here fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

I'm really not for couples staying together unnecessarily or jumping to go get separated and divorced.

What I'm committed to is the mastery of being able to get clarity - so you're not making permanent choices from a temporary feeling.

If your temporary feeling is familiar and reminds you of your childhood - your perception of reality is skewed.

You're a teenager or a younger version of yourself in this conflict and in your marriage.

So even if you leave, your teenage self is running the show. And if you stay, the teenage self is running the show.

Get the teenager out of the driver's seat.

The only way adult relationships work, is if BOTH are showing up as adults.

This is hard. Especially if you grew up and all you witnessed were "inner wounded children" in adult bodies, having relationships.

So how do you get from "inner wounded children" to "adults" in your relationships?

Connect with your Heart.

And what to do when you are at your edge?

Connect with your Higher Self.

If you don't have a relationship with your Heart, it's not a mystery why you struggle in your relationships.

Sending love,

Yummii xx

PS Clarity is power.

If you're feeling at a loss with your relationship because you have grown so much - listen to Jo or Mel's testimonial.