How do you get your relationship back on track?

When there is children involved, it's not as simple as let's break up!

Every couple that has children, came together to start a family with the best of intentions, and at the same time we don't want to stay with our partner for the sake of the children.

And even when we have had a beautiful divorce and separation, as we enter a new season of co parenting or establishing a new relationship, there's so much consideration around our new relationship and our new partner ensuring that it is the for the highest and greatest good for everyone in the family.

The intricacies and what it takes to create a thriving family would need a lot more than a newsletter.

And there are some basic foundations that I can share with you.

If you're someone that has been on a spiritual path, and are a seeker and into growth, and your partner isn't, and you are feeling misaligned, the very first thing that I'm going to ask you to do is stop making them wrong for the journey.

Stop judging their journey.

Stop thinking you know better for their life.

Trust me... they can feel it, and this energy creates disconnection. It's not going to be the energy of them being able to feel safe and grounded with you.

Stop looking for how they are broken and what they need to fix about them.

That energy vibrates in your words and in your speaking.

It triggers parts of them that feel unloved not enough and worthy.

And instead of being their partner, you have now turned to their teacher in high school, their mother or their father or some authority figure that reminds them of how broken they are.

Secondly, focus on your wholeness, and focus on you being true to you.

To be able to create a thriving family where everyone's needs are met and more
requires so much courage and truth.

It requires an audacity to believe that your dreams matter and who you are matters.

The reason we compromise, the ways in which we "settle" and sacrifice, the reason we don't ask for what we need, or we put our needs last is because we're not true to ourselves.

And if we're afraid to be true to ourselves and we don't value who we are - we can't create a thriving family; simply not possible if your being has the consciousness of "compromise", "sacrifice" and "settling".

If you compromise, if you settle, if you put your needs last, that is the consciousness of survival. Not the consciousness of thriving.

Your ability to have hard conversations and hold yourself to account and your partner to account falls back on this. Your relationship to self.

Your value for yourself.
Your worth for yourself.
Your love - for yourself.

Thirdly, stop seeing them as the enemy.

Stop making them the bad one, and you're the good one.

Or that they are the one to blame and you're the vicitm.

That's a lose-lose game. 

Stop thinking that you're the only one that wants to have a thriving relationship or that you're the only one that's suffering.

If you're suffering, if you're lonely, if you're feeling like you're in survival - guess what? So are they.

When you can acknowledge that they are hurting as well - that's actually you tapping into Spirit.

To have compassion for the human experience.

If you're feeling unseen, so are they.
If you're feeling unheard, so are they.
If you're feeling misunderstood, so are they.

This is profound when you really recognise this in a relationship - because the truth will set you free.

So now, where to from here?

I'm going to ask you on a scale of one to 10, How high is the connection?

If the connection is a one or two - What would make it a two to three?

If the connection is a four or five - what would make it a five or six?

The journey of restoring your relationship takes deep commitment and cannot be rushed.

There are years of unconscious resentments, maybe even decades or years of unspoken and unmet expectations. Disappointments and hurts that have never been addressed.

There are moments when both people have let each other down.

When you have been with each other for a really long time, and you add in children - there is so much that is unspoken that hasn't been addressed and resolved.

So this is going to take patience and commitment

I'm never for couples staying together or breaking up.

But what I do stand for is empowerment and clarity.

Because when couples choose to stay together or choose to separate and it's from a place of truth, it's from a place of knowing, it's from a place of empowerment and clarity. Everyone moves forward.

However, when couples stay together or separate and it's from a place of fear, it's from a place of blame, it's from a place of being fed-up and it's a reaction, or a place of "I've had enough", and "I don't need you" - that energy in relationships will follow you and haunt you.

And if you have children, the flow-on impact when you separate or end a relationship from a place of Fear, that's not ideal.

It's true, couples should never stay together because of the children.

And it's also true that these life defining moments, these choices we make, we need to consider the impact and how to help our children navigate through it all.

Children want their parents to be thriving, vital and really loving their life. No child wants a parent that is suffering and in survival.

Lastly, the reason why your relationship has gone astray, and you feel like you're growing apart is this, you don't have an uncompromising vision for yourself or if you do, you're not honouring it and bringing reverence to it.

And therefore, if you don't have an uncompromising vision for yourself, chances are, one is also missing for your partnership.

Thriving families, thriving couples, have an uncompromising vision for who they are for each other, for who they are together as partners creating this family, and to have an uncompromising vision for who they are for themselves, and what they bring and who they get to become.

Without your vision for your life, and your shared vision with your partner/ spouse, you don't have a map, you don't have a North Star to ensure that you're on the same page, and there is partnership.

The key to having hard conversations that move you forward has everything to do with your love for yourself, your love for your life, and your love for the powerful future you create together.

It's not a mystery why relationships fall apart.

Start with the love for yourself, the love for your life, and the commitment to be courageous to hold yourself accountable, uncompromising, and so in love with your journey.

Nothing can rock, nothing can kilter a woman or anyone that has so much reverence and love for their life.

And that's how you hold high, your Vision with each other.

Sending love,
Yummii

PS When you have that deep love for yourself and you live from your Highest Self - you're able to see through all the pain, hurt, and disappointments of your partner - and hold space for them so that their Higher Self can come through.

This isn't from a place of saving.

This is from a place of empowerment and creation.