How to be a conscious parent

Some of the biggest fears we have as parents are; "Am I doing it right?!... Am I enough? Am I giving them everything they need?"

And if we're not focused on ourselves and how we're doing, we're then focused on "They don't appreciate me", "they are so ungrateful", "I'm just a maid/ chauffeur and being bossed around". 

As you read the above - what do you notice?

We are so obsessed with "I". 

That's why parenting is hard. 

Because it reflects our relationship with ourselves.

The fear of getting it wrong.

The fear of not being enough.

The fear of not doing enough.

The fear of being unloved.

The fear of being misunderstood.

The fear of being invisible.  

When parenting is done from the place of Fear, it is damn hard.

It is all about "surviving" our internal state - and it's all done from a place of "there's something wrong with me" and "I have something to prove" or "it's all my fault".

From Fear, there is no conscious awareness. It is all about "doing" and leaning towards repeating narratives and stories we have inherited or taken on. 

Here's a tip.

When parenting shifts from being about "you" to one about a willingness for discovery and a "relationship" between two people, the weight gets lifted. 

Relationships are heavy when we are burdened and hindered by our own baggage AND by wanting to take on another's an emotional state.

Relationships become lighter and breathe life into us when we recognise that we want the same thing, we're on the same team, and that we are here for each other to learn, connect, and grow together. 

Fear is all about control.

Love is all about letting go. 

Only when we are willing to let go of what we think we know, what we think we need to do, and all the unconscious pressure we place on ourselves and each other can we create connection within ourselves and with each other.

A conscious parent is someone that is always paying attention to whether they are in Fear or they are in Love.

What I know for sure is life is easy when you live it the hard way.

And life is really hard when you try to live it the easy way. 

It's easy to live by the rules of Fear. And life is really hard from that place. 

It takes something to live life with a relentless commitment to choosing Love. And that's when life is easy.

I find parenting has very little to do with our children and so much about raising ourselves as healthy human beings with a powerful sense of belonging and connection. 

I find our sense of being in Love with life is directly correlated to our sense of trusting ourselves...

..and... if we're all about controlling life, we don't trust ourselves or our sense of belonging and connection in the world.

Our desire for control is reflective of the Fear we feel inside. 

If you feel out of control within, you want to control everything around you, thinking that will give you relief. However, it's a dead-end pursuit. 

So... How to be a conscious parent?

Be consciously committed to choosing Love.

Simple. 

It is hard to do - and it will be "secret" that will give you an easy life - and a life you are so proud of and love.

Sending Love,

Yummii

PS - Take a moment to reflect and acknowledge where you are. 

Scale 1-10; when it comes to your relationships - be it parenting or romantic - how much do you show up from a place of choosing Love?