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Avery and Brooklyn have never witnessed John and I fight about money.
And as crazy as this sounds, for almost 13 years I have been with John - we have never argued about money. It just isn't an issue of contention, and we are intentional about this.
Before I met him, in creating a Vision for my life, I wrote a key statement about the future version of me in the most aligned relationship.
"We are supportive of each other when it comes to Money. We don't fight about it... and we are on the same page. My partner and I live in possibility and potential regarding money. Money isn't an issue in our relationship. He supports my dreams and desires, and I support his. We live in possibility and potential."
That vision planted in my Heart and my commitment to a thriving family life was created BEFORE I met John, and before I had a family.
To create and realise this Vision - I knew I needed to face the dysfunctional relationship I created with money.
It all starts from childhood.
I remember this conversation with my father so vividly....
Where he said the words:
"If you don't have money, you don't have anything - and money is power.
Money is more important than Love...."
I was born out of wedlock - and I was also "the other woman's" child.
I was born when my parents were going through so much chaos.
A teenager (my mother), a barely there adult (my father) - escaping Vietnam, leaving their family, completely uncertain whether they were going to live or die, leaving everything they knew and their family - because of the Vietnam war, met each other on a refugee boat and for 3 months spent time together going from Vietnam to the Philippines, and then to Australia.
I can only imagine how scary, unsettling, and traumatic that would have been.
And they never dealt with the trauma.
When my parents arrived in Australia - my father and mother split. He had a vision that he would immigrate or bring his wife and child over......and then he found out my mother was pregnant.
He chose to stay with her.
His dreams were shattered. Making money was how he escaped. Hiding behind his "achievements" and "accomplishments" were his drug of choice to numb the pain he felt in what he considered "trapped".
He felt like a victim to this circumstance. His Heart wasn't with my mother - and he felt he couldn't leave.
His Heart was back in Vietnam with this wife and daughter that was barely a few months old. My mother didn't know he was married.
During the first 3 years of my life, behind my mother's back, he had organised the paperwork and was corresponding with his wife so that she could come over to Australia.
And then, out of the blue, he decided not to immigrate his wife and daughter over.
There was emotional chaos all around.
My father said to me; "My biggest dream and all I have ever wanted was a loving family. Your mother is destructive - and if the Universe doesn't give me the loving family I have always wanted in this lifetime - I better be rich, wealthy, and make money!"
My father was a Spiritual teacher and an entrepreneur, and he knew how to make money.
He focused all his attention, effort, and energy on business and money. Because that's what he knew how to do well.
What he wanted, though, was a loving family.
He killed that possibility - not realising that it's his responsibility to bring it to life IF it mattered to him.
I believe what happened was that he wanted to be right that he was unlovable.
And he wanted to be right that the Universe has given him talents and Spiritual gifts and that it came at the cost of his biggest desire to be in a loving family.
He chose being right - over being committed to his Heart.
As a child, I didn't know this.
Instead, to make sense of it all, I blamed money for taking his attention away. I blamed money for why he didn't love our family. I blamed money for the lack of love.......
AND because I knew how much he loved making money, I thought, the more money I make, the more he might love me....
So here I was, growing up with disgust for money, and I knew how to generate it only from a place of suffering.
What I didn't realise was money wasn't to blame. Nor was anything to blame.
I lacked the understanding and perspective to see what was going on.
I didn't receive the love from my father that I wanted because I didn't receive the love from my father that I wanted.
I wasn't able to accept that he loved me as best he could. It wasn't because of money that he couldn't love me.
It was that he loved to the level that he loved himself.
When I realised my dysfunctional relationship with money was a reflection of my relationship with my father, and it had the SAME emotional experience I would feel in being his daughter in our relationship - I understood why I kept looping - and why I struggled to generate wealth from a place of purpose, from a place of Soul, from a place of alignment.
Because I never knew what it felt like to be on purpose, to be in my Soul, to be in complete alignment with myself - and feel safe to know I can attract abundance by the truest version of me.
I never knew what it felt like to be loved for being me by my father.
The irony, money, was now what I used to keep every story and limiting experience that reflected my 21 years of life so I could have the same emotional and mental thermostat I had growing up.
I started healing my relationship with money over 10 years ago.
And it's still an ongoing journey.
For those of us who are high-achievers and results producers, and we do it at a cost to our mental, emotional and Spiritual well-being - healing your relationship with money is the difference between making a lot of money doing what you don't want or no longer brings you joy - vs being in a state of receivership and trusting that you are a money magnet when you are in alignment with your purpose and truth.
You move from - the addiction to making money from a place of scarcity, not enough, proving yourself and hustling - to serving at your highest - and money becoming neutral.
Money becomes safe, joyful, and a really fun game.
It stops being the thing that reminds you of your childhood.
Healing your relationship with money takes away the emotional charge.
And healing your relationship with money is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself - as you will STOP judging your self-worth on how hard you work and how much money you make.
Lastly - you'll stop blaming money. You'll stop worrying about it. You'll stop misunderstanding it.
Because that's not where your freedom lives.
You'll start understanding that money is a resource - and as more and more of this resource enters your life, it amplifies who you are. It amplifies and contributes to your connection to possibility, potential and creation.
Understanding this means you'll make aligned choices for the season of life you're in, for the adventure your Heart is calling in - and you're not afraid to take chances to let go of what no longer serves you.
John and I both grew up with dysfunctional relationships around money.
And the one thing we didn't bring into our relationship, our marriage, and the way we parent - is passing on that inheritance of scarcity and obsession.
Money is one of the biggest reasons couples fight - not realising it has nothing to do with money.
Give yourself permission to trust the Universe will provide the resources you need. Trust in that.
Have faith in that....
And give yourself the gift of claiming back your power by breaking up with worrying, shame, and being consumed and obsessed with the lack of, or always feeling it's not enough.
Your life is bigger than "money". Money is here to serve you. Not the other way around.
Everyday you spend worrying about it, consumed by it, obsessed with it, and feeling it's never enough - and worst of all - afraid of the new version of you so you keep doing what you're doing when you KNOW it's time to let go because it brings in the money - you're serving money.
Money isn't the enemy here.
Heal your inner-child's view on money - so you can pass on and inheritance that's really worth passing on.
Sending love,
Yummii xx
PS My exclusive VIP Masterclass around Healing your Relationship with Money in late September is open to anyone who becomes a client from now until then.
If you're a results producer and high-achiever, and you KNOW you're ready for change, ready to heal your inner child so you can stop proving yourself - Reach out.
Whatever is bringing in the money - it's not worth your slow death and your lack of joy.
A year from now, you can be in a VERY different space. Start the change today.
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