Is it important to you to feel great?

Uncategorized Aug 06, 2020

Is it important to you to feel great? - It's a serious question.

...and how important is it really?... 

This isn't about judgement - I invite you to answer this, free from guilt

When we can be honest with ourselves - the guilt, the shame, the judgement to ourselves no longer has power. 

Guilt/ shame/ judgement - those experiences that "rob us of joy" only arise when we live in a world of "should".

  • I should know better.
  • I should do better.
  • I should do more.
  • I should do self-care.
  • I should be more patient.
  • I should have moved passed this now. 
  • I should know this by now. then, let's ask ourselves, when did we buy-into the world of "should"? 

I'm going to assume that the world of "should" was inherited as a young child. 

  • "You're the older sister - you should know better."
  • "I told you so - you should know NOT to do that."
  • "I expected more from you!"
  • "Are you stupid? This should be logical."
  • "What don't you understand about this - it should be easy!"
  • "You should know this! You've done this many times."

.... sound familiar?

Now, this isn't about judging our parents. Our parents didn't know they were unconsciously shaming us. 

In the moments where we needed compassion, where we needed some gentleness, and our parents were unable to meet us where we were at, what was their level of wellbeing? How "safe" or "comforted" did they feel in their skin, body, and soul?

....and what was their level of joy? Was it important for them to feel great about themselves? Was it a priority to flow in life?

There is no right or wrong - I genuinely mean that. And a whole new world opens up in parenting when we do the deep-thinking to unlearn all that we have unconsciously taken on.

Including the world of "shoulds". A world unconsciously imposed in moments of sadness, stress, frustration, and low levels of wellbeing.

It's a world that we need NOT entertain. 

If feeling great about living is important to you, how can you promote this? How can you integrate and live this in your daily life?

By the way - there isn't a "should" here. I'm not saying that it's important to feel great about living - I'm asking you if feeling great is important to you - and if it is, let's bring some awareness to this. What you consciously bring awareness too, grows. 

Overwhelm kicks in when clarity is missing, we are living on someone else's agenda, or we are puppets to the world of "shoulds". 

"I should be more grateful and love life." - is heavy. It's charged. There is no generosity and gentleness here. There is judgement, and it is living out "you being your own worst critic."

"I wonder what it would be like if I were to be grateful and experience a love for life?" - this is lighter. "What is it about gratitude that makes a difference?"...."What would it be like to feel great in life? - What would I stop doing and do more of?". Inside of being curious and bringing wonderment - you are now embracing a beginner's mindset, being emotionally generous to your experience of life. 

Your children genuinely want you to share in their joy. They don't need for you to be rushing around, taking on extra demands or things because you feel that you "should" be doing them.....and you, have 100% autonomy on how you spend your time. So, have the courage to stop doing things or spending time with people that don't bring you joy or nourish you. 

Feeling great in mind, body, and spirit is only possible when we make it a priority, and we believe that it is important to cultivate in our daily life. 

If we're doing it from a place of "should" or adding to a list of things to do - it then becomes a chore. Another thing that we're adding onto the invisible list of how we're falling short in life and it's "all too hard".

Here's my invitation, what "should's" are robbing you of joy? I invite you to hunt them down and kick them to the curb ;)


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