Let's talk about guilt...

Guilt. It's a big one in parenting.

Guilt is interesting... It's interesting because it isn't something that is "questioned," and is "accepted" as the "truth". 

Guilt, once it's accepted, discolours our experience of life, cripples our heart to fully receiving, and creates disconnection within.

I'm going to invite you in on this idea. 

What if you didn't have to be hijacked by guilt?...

And...here's an even bigger idea. What if it didn't need to be a predominant experience of life as a parent?

So... you may be feeling "guilty" for the following:

• Not spending enough time with your children
• Not being able to be present
• Not doing enough for them
• Having to work so much and when you see them, you're spent
• Getting frustrated and angry at them, then worried about "damaging" them
• Not being able to give them what they want compared to their friend's family
• Losing it at them more than you should
• Not enjoying parenting - sometimes you think, why did I have them in the first place? It isn't what I expected it to be
• Not being a good-enough parent

What you don't realise about guilt is that is it an "addiction".

Your body feels safe with this emotion. 

Guilt is an auto-pilot emotional reaction that is inherited. It is not yours. 

Here's the process for shifting away from being consumed by guilt.

1. Question the guilt. Get curious about the guilt. Where does it come from? Where did you learn it from? 

If you grew up with parents that said; "I've sacrificed so much for you..." or "You're making me sad..." or "I'm really disappointed in you..." or "I expected better from you...." or "It's because of you that we did x, y, z..." or "You're ungrateful...."

That's where the healing lives. That's the Fear that's seeking to be met with Love.

2. In the moments that "guilt" arises, on a scale of 1-10, what is your level of wellbeing? 10 being aligned in mind/ body/ spirit. 1 being chaotic. 

Guilt cannot hijack your experience of life when you are in alignment in mind/ body/ spirit. For this, self-care is a non-negotiable.

The fertile environment for guilt is the lack of love for thyself.

Self-judgement, self-criticism, disease to please, perfection... that's the breeding ground for guilt.

3. Let go of trying to "fix" your children's emotional pain or thinking it's yours to control or own. 

They are fine with being angry.... and they are fine with being sad.

The only person that isn't fine with it is you.

Your children aren't asking you to fix their emotional reaction - they are asking you to be accepting of it.

...And in the moments you can't be accepting of it - give yourself some grace and start over.

4. Find where the "guilt" lives in your body, meet it with Love.

Guilt is an emotion - energy in motion.

If it keeps arising, it means it is trapped in the body. To free the guilt, locate it, feel it, understand it, and meet it with Love.

5. Connect to your Higher-Self. Master this connection. Master "receiving" their guidance. Master this relationship. Your Higher-Self is the one that can meet your guilt with unconditional Love.

Guilt doesn't have to have a permanent home or be in the driver's seat of your experience of life.

It is seeking is to be seen, heard, and understood - met with Love - so that it can liberate from your body.

In fact, guilt is a teacher.

Its presence is asking you to have more compassion, kindness, and grace for yourself.