SLEEP! Where are you? I miss you!!
What is the one thing that is most talked about and yet we could never prepare for when a newborn enters the family? SLEEP!!!
One thing I want you to know is that your child wants to sleep as much as you want it to sleep... AND it just doesn't know how. It is learning.
... And here's what I know. It isn't the amount of sleep that matters most, it is your story and letting go of the expectations of sleep that would make the biggest difference.... and really, if we dig deeper, it isn't really just about the sleep - it is also the frustration that we aren't in control and that life isn't working out the way we are expecting it too.
Before bub, maybe we were getting 8 hours or so of sleep. And with bub, this way of life is challenged!... Ok, more like disrupted and totally out the window.
So we may feel sleep deprivation - if we do, it means we need to bring attention and awareness to other area's of our life to make sure we are keeping our energy sacred.
Let's say you're getting broken sleep. The next day should then be rearranged to meet your energy levels. Let go of needing to do the dishes, keeping the house clean, or saying "yes" to things that don't matter. It is a time to reassess. This is why self-care is really important.
If both your partner and you are running on empty - it's time to figure out how to fill that tank. Can you get help? Order take-away? Get to sleep a little earlier?
Energy is a resource - and like any resource, it needs to be re-nourished and fuelled. Sleep is one way to re-energise however it's not the only way.
In fact, our bodies are amazing and incredibly adaptable. Our bodies can actually thrive on less sleep - it is when we are being attached to our expectations of how many hours of sleep and the narrative we tell ourselves about sleep that is normally the root cause of the frustration in parenthood.
We sometimes think that sleep or the limited amount of sleep is the root cause of our frustration. However if we continue to hang onto this belief - nothing shifts. We then rob ourselves of the experience of joy in parenthood.
What if the root cause of the frustration is our need for control? or our fear of the loss of control? What if the root cause of the frustration is this longing for life to be different to what it is now? i.e. a baby waking up every hour.
If we can dance in the chaos, meet each circumstance with an open heart, and bring compassion and kindness - maybe, just maybe, our energy shifts.
They say that expectation is the root of all heartache. I think expecting that life be different to what it is now, and expecting our child to learn how to sleep or have better sleep when it is also still adjusting to this new world is what creates the heartache within ourselves.
Your relationship to your child's sleep is going to make the biggest difference in being able to find calm, create peace of mind, and find acceptance for what is.
Maybe this is the lesson. Maybe this is the mastery. Maybe, just maybe, this is the magic that is waiting to be discovered. Calm, Peace, and Acceptance for what is.