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If you're feeling overwhelmed if you're feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders...
If it's getting all too much, and you're stuck, and the loneliness is debilitating...and you're having to put on such a brave face and be strong - yet inside, you're barely holding it together...
This message is for you.
Firstly, I want you to know you're not alone. There is nothing wrong with you....and you're not a mess. Nor are you broken.
You're going through a difficult time. You're going through a transition. You're going through something.
And there's nothing wrong with you.
I've been at rock bottom many times... and it's been my greatest teacher.
I have such a reverence for rock bottom - as it is the place where there is nowhere to turn to but within.
It is as though I can finally stop fighting it all - especially myself.. and the only place to go, is surrender.
At this place, I stopped trying to control things that are out of my control.
At this place, I let go of things that are urgent - that aren't important, that I have been so consumed by.
At this place, I would take an honest look at what's working, what's not working, and what I can be responsible for.
I started looking at what I have been tolerating that isn't ok with me.
And I ask myself questions;
"What would be loving for me, right now? Is there something I'm pretending to be ok with, that really isn't ok?"
"What is it that I want that I'm afraid I'll never get?"
"What is the thing I'm afraid to tell myself?"
THEN to move myself forward...
I tune into my Future Self, a version of me 6 months, 12 months, or even 3 years from now - and standing at that moment, standing in that future - what would she tell me about what I'm going through?
When I was going through my divorce - I remember my Future Self saying, "Take it one day at a time".
When I was going through the grief of my miscarriage, my Future Self said, "You didn't do anything wrong. Be kind to yourself.. and feel it all."
And the actions I take are all from that Future version of me. Not the version of me that's at rock bottom.
Rock bottom, the only way out, is up.
The only way through is Faith.
Faith that there are better days. Faith that "this too shall pass".
Rock bottom is a place that requires tenderness, grace, and compassion for yourself.
And yes, I know it's noisy. And it is terrifying. And it is unnerving... and it can feel really, really lonely. I get it....
AND.... This, too, shall pass. Nothing is permanent.
For years, this quote from Benjamin Button (I've never seen the movie) guided me; "For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it."
The words; "It's never too late" always stood out for me.
The greatest gift that rock bottom gave me - to learn to trust myself. To open my Heart and never let my heart harden.
The reason that led me to rock bottom had one common denominator.
My Mind.
So ...wherever you are... I'm sending love to you. You're not alone. You're not a mess. And there's nothing wrong with you.
You're going through something hard. And you're hurting... give yourself permission to feel it all - and don't judge the mess. Don't judge the chaos. It's darkest before dawn...
What is really needed right now is for you to look in the mirror, look at that person in the mirror and say; "This too, shall pass."
I'm sending you SO much love.
Yummii xx
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