There is 1 question that will reveal your patterns.
It is the reason why you don't feel safe in relationships or feel safe to be loved or feel safe to be abundant.
It is the reason why you have "imposter syndrome" and feeling like a fraud.
It is the reason why you can't ask for what you need, don't know how to navigate conflict, and numb yourself - or push people away when you need them.
It will show you why you can't feel joy, feel at peace, feel calm - especially when everything is amazing, and you're waiting for it to fall apart or get disappointed.
It is also the reason why - you don't believe that you are worthy of being in a beautiful and amazing relationship... and you regard it as "not important" - because you're afraid of admitting how important it is for you.... and the beliefs of; "I'm bad at relationships" or "I don't do relationships" or "I don't need a relationship" is your reality.
...so, before I share the question...
I invite you to consider the process of learning to ride a bike.
Once you have started learning how to ride a bike and can ride a bike - do you ever forget?
The answer is "No", right?... Even if you went for years without riding a bike, after a few hours, muscle memory kicks in.
The neural pathways are there.
They may not have been "actively used", - and they lie dormant.
They are there.
When it comes to "Love",.... whether it be your relationship to others, your relationship to self, your relationship to your passion - where did you first learn this?
In your families. With your parents.
They were your first model of Love.
They were your first "bike" when it comes to relationships.
This question, once asked, will reveal to you your "muscle memory" when it comes to Love.
It will reveal your pattern when it comes to "relationships" and even show you why you don't feel worthy, enough, or whole.
It explains "self-sabotaging" patterns.
It explains why you haven't pursued your dream.
It will also give you an insight into your ceiling or, as Gay Hendricks calls it, the "Upper Limit Problem".
Answering this question and bringing awareness to it will bring a greater understanding of why you have the same fights, the same frustrations, or the repeated turmoil (whether it be inner or with others) no matter what you do.
This question - just like how you'll never forget how to ride a bike - will reveal to you what happens when you are at your edge, and you're about to "Choose Love".
What you want to know is that your unconscious mind, your body, wants "habit" and "familiarity".
SO - when you choose Love, your brain will go to a "known" memory to pull you back. Because that is "certainty" for the body.
What people call self-sabotage is simply the gap between the Heart and the Mind.
The disharmony between our Higher Knowing and the very first memories or neural pathways of "Worthiness" or "Love" that our body remembers.
Your "muscle memory" when it comes to relationships is your baseline.
What you want to know about your baseline is that it is familiar, safe, and addictive.
Your body wants to be in this place irrespective of how your Heart is guiding you.
This is the question:
Scale of 1-10, how seen, heard, and understood did you feel by your parents?
Because when you choose Love, you're choosing courage.
When you choose courage, you're choosing the unknown.
When you're in the unknown, your body doesn't like that - and so the "muscle memory" for your past will come up.
This means the same emotions and thought patterns of when you were between the ages of 0-14 will come up. I would even go to say it may be even younger - 0-7.
So... Scale of 1-10, how seen, heard, and understood did you feel by your parents?
And... what were the 3 most dominant memories for you between ages 0-7?
This is your baseline...You're not "stuck" with it... and it is the same emotional memory, thought patterns that will come up when you're Choosing Love.
Choosing Love is the hardest thing you'll ever do. It's not easy. It requires you to go against ALL of your programming.
If you're ready to heal your baseline of Love - reach out. It's my mission. My purpose - and what I'm here to guide people through.