The questions to ask every father

It's Father's Day in Australia.

I love these celebration days... Not because of the "commercial" aspect or the gifts... And I appreciate these "celebration days" for the very reason that it provides an opportunity for reflection and acknowledgment.

We celebrated Father's Day yesterday evening with really close friends of ours.

Both John and his friend Peter, are really hands on fathers. Both are the primary carers and both are doing something really different to what is the norm from their upbringing, culture, social surrounds.

As we sat around the dinner table, I asked them the following questions to reflect on their journey of fatherhood.

1. What do you love about being a father?
2. What's the hardest thing you've experienced so far in being a father?
3. What didn't you expect to have experience so far in being a father?
4. How did your father impact you in being a father?
5. What did you wish you received from your father that you never received?
6. What is something you wish your partners/wife knew about what is hard with fatherhood and where can we be more understanding?
7. Before having children, what kind of father did you think you would be... And how has this vision changed since you became a father?
8. What do you really want your children to know about what it means to be a father to them?
9. What's something you want to be acknowledged and appreciated for in being a father?

.... And for the partners and co-parents.. my invitation is this.

Share something with your partner, spouse or co-parent that you admire and appreciate about them that you have never shared before.

Now... You maybe thinking... It would be so awkard to ask these questions.

This is called intimacy and connection. It is called having Heart-to-Heart conversations.

It is vulnerable. And it can feel "too much".

It always is at first.

And if you want something different, you have to do something different.

John and I weren't raised in homes where there was open communication.

Nor were we raised to share, talk about our feelings or had any role models that would demonstrate what it would look like to feel comfortable yourself to be vulnerable.

It's a learnt skill.

You're either going to have your comfort zone win, or your committment to more connection win.

You get to choose.

So I'm inviting you.. whether you celebrate Father's Day or not, take the action, to have the conversations that matter.

Get belly to belly. Heart to Heart.

You'll love yourself more, you'll create more connection.. and you'll never regret being more committed to doing what it takes for more connection.

You'll regret choosing your comfort zone.

Happy Father's Day.

Sending love,
Yummii xx

PS ... And if it isn't Father's Day where you are... You can still ask these questions. You don't need an excuse to create connection. ... And if there is no father in the picture, shift the questions. Use this exercise as a healing journey for both yourself and your children.