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In some places worldwide, we're celebrating "Mother's Day".
It's a day that can bring mixed feelings.
It's a day where there may be high expectations; it can also be a day of full appreciation, gratitude and celebration.
It can be a day of unmet dreams, grief rising, and disappointment.
Some love motherhood, and some struggle with it. Some wish they were mothers or that their mother was still around....and then some grieve the mother they never had.
Some were so blessed to have incredible and supportive mothers, and those that didn't grow up with a mother.
One day, infinite ways to experience it.
And Motherhood itself - an experience - with infinite ways to create it.
So what does it mean to be a mother?
.... the meaning is what you give it.
You can create Motherhood to be something meaningful where you give meaning to it - OR it can be something that is testing, unfulfilling, and reflects your internal dialogue inherited from generations before you.
What I know to be true is this.
When you give meaning, when you are the one that creates meaning for Motherhood, you create the experience.
And when you don't, you fall victim to inherited beliefs, conditioning, agreements, and paradigms passed on from generation to generation that probably doesn't serve you... and that can be heartbreaking.
Nothing has initiated me into the mastery of Love more than Motherhood.
Nothing holds me accountable to Love and living as my Highest Self than being a Mother...
Motherhood has taught me Love in a whole different realm.
A Love that's free from reciprocation, expectation, and condition. Do I get it right all the time? No. And am I committed to living this way? Yes.
The biggest lesson I loved about Motherhood was this.
To truly Love another is when the other experiences freedom and safety in receiving your Love - and you feel absolute freedom and peace in giving it.
I never knew the depth of this, about Love, until I became a mother.
Unconsciously, I inherited ideas and agreements around Love such that it is about responsibility, obligation, and expectation, and underlying it was "it doesn't come free".
Love was transactional, and it was an exchange. It was give/ take. And it was conditional.
Motherhood transformed my understanding of Love.
Motherhood is a healing journey that my children have gifted me to come home to me, be the best version of myself, and "remember" who I truly am.
An Infinite Spiritual being having a human experience.
And when I choose to bring this meaning to my version of Motherhood - who I get to become and what I get to experience in Motherhood is centred around learning, growth, grace, compassion, and being humbled by what it means to be human - and in doing so, my Divinity is unlocked.
Everything that I desired, everything that I believed to be true that was possible for me - cracked open when I became a mother.
Because nothing held me more accountable to choose Faith over Fear than Motherhood.
I have two boys that are constantly fighting, teasing each other and calling each other "poo-poo".
My youngest, Brooklyn, is going through a screaming stage.
Dinner time and anything food related, and I'm bracing myself.
The laundry is never-ending.
The house is in a constant mess.
I haven't slept properly in the last seven years... and I can't remember the last time John and I had more than a week of decent sleep - or were in our own bed, together for a week in a row without any interruptions and musical beds!
AND none of that defines Motherhood for me. That's just stuff. For me, it's no different to the weather. It comes and goes, and it's a phase.
What defines Motherhood, brings me absolute awe and wonder, and the experience of so much gratitude for being a Mother... is who I get to become - and who they allow me to become.
It's in the moments Brooklyn is screaming... and pushing me away and saying, "GO AWAY... I DON'T NEED YOU",.... and I know what he is saying is not what his Heart wants.
And I sit there... I know it's not personal, and there's nothing to fix... and I say quietly... "I'm here for you.. and you don't have to be sad and angry alone..."
And he continues to push ...and I'm feeling his energy.. I get he is hurting so much...and I say, "I'm not scared of your big emotions...and you don't have to go through them alone..."
And at that moment... he runs up to me, surrenders into my arms and cries. And I get to hold him. I get to be there with his pain.
I get to be someone that he trusts. I get to be someone for myself that isn't afraid of pain, and I get to be someone who can hold space for our little one, where he is safe to feel all he needs in that present moment.
And it's in these moments I heal. It's in these moments my Heart expands even more. It's these moments that teach me grace, compassion, and presence.
And without my children, these moments aren't available to me to understand Love and connection in this way.
.... I hope on this day, whether you celebrate or not - take a moment to ask, "What does Motherhood mean to me?... How does being a Mother create meaning in my life?"
How have I grown?
What do I want to be acknowledged for?
Who have I become?
Sending you all so much love - Happy Mother's Day,
Yummii xx
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