What I'm celebrating about being a mother for 7 years

Avery turned 7 yesterday.

Avery is in the last year of his first 7-year cycle. 

He is moving from child to adolescence. This is the last year that his baby cells will be in his physical body... and by the time he is 8, he will be a completely brand new being, with no trace of what he originally entered Earthside with. 

Rudolf Steiner calls ages 7-9 the Rubicon.

From a Spiritual perspective, these are the years they are starting to "be more human" and less "energy". Their field is becoming more dense.

The 2nd year cycle of 7-14 is all about surfing the wave of their emotional world. In this stage, they are also breaking free from our energy field. From ages 0-7, they are COMPLETELY in our energy field...and from ages 7 onwards... they are learning to create their own energy field. They start experiencing "separation", "duality" and "polarity". They are moving from completely from Spirit into Mind/ Body. 

From a Psychology (Mind) and Biology (Body) perspective, the brain waves are getting faster, and their analytical mind is going to kick in. Their body is going to produce different chemical reactions, and new bodily functions are coming in. 

If there is something I wish I could share with every parent is that "there is no such thing as selfish" in the first 7 years. 

In fact, for them to be 21 and really own their power, and for them to know that they have a voice, that they can ask for what they want, and to feel a sense of belonging - the first 7 years dramatically impacts this.

First 7 years is all "me, me, me, me, me".... and it's not selfish.

It's designed this way.

The first 7 years, "everything feels personal". And if you can navigate these years free from the fear that your child is selfish - when they enter ages 7-14 and older, they are learning what's theirs, and what's not....that's how they start learning "it's not personal". 

In our family, we have never forced the boys to share.

The brain can't understand that behaviour from an adults point of view - and too many children are forced to share and be considerate when they don't have the processing power. 

For his birthday party, he invited 5 friends from school. Every other child, when they've had a party, has invited everyone in the class. 

Avery was clear it was only going to be 5.

There is a boy in his class that considers Avery as his best friend. The boy's mother shared this with me how much her son LOVES Avery and that he always talks about Avery.

This boy wasn't invited though. 

I asked Avery how he felt about the friendship and he said; "I like him, I just don't see him as close."

And this is where it gets tricky.

As an adult, if we went through rejection, abandonment, and were left out - we would empathise more with the child that wasn't invited... and the unconsciously we would push or try to convince our child to invite this other child.

Especially knowing how this other child feels about our child. 

I could feel it coming up in my body. Those chemical reactions. Oh how I wanted Avery to invite that child. 

I asked him a few questions and he was really clear who he was inviting and who he wasn't.

He was worried about the other children in the class finding out, and I helped him navigate through that as well.

He was so happy with his choice, and he could really feel that this party was his. This is how we help build self-esteem, confidence, and honour their Spirit.

So it's been 7 years of being a parent. 

What I'm most proud of is being able to honour where Avery is at and what his development needs are to feel safe, grounded, and that he can love who he is.

When we asked him; "What are you grateful for in the last 7 years?" 
He replied; "I'm grateful I am here, on Earth, experiencing this. I came from the stars, to be here."

It took over 3 years for him to move through grief of having to share his parents. There were times he would say how much he didn't want Brooklyn around and that he just wanted his parents back. Crying, screaming, and feeling completely distraught. 

He has taught me so much about what it means to hold space and to let go of my agenda. 

As we were having dinner to celebrate his last night being 6, I said to him; "What I love about you Avery is how observant you are. I know you know so much - and you hear, listen, and can read people really well.... and I think you know more than we think you do... !" 

To which he said; "Yeah I know a lot about everyone.... :) I think you think I'm a child and I don't know..."

The last 7 years have been the most healing for me. Through holding space for Avery, I was able to meet my own inner-child that was abandoned, rejected, ignored, felt invisible - and give her the Love that she actually needed and was seeking. 

And this is why I believe, our children awaken us. 

The last 7 years, I've never loved myself more. I've never felt more empowered, more alive... and more whole.

Avery, was pivotal in my journey to owning my wholeness - because parenting him from unworthiness, lack and not enough, was not an option. 

There is NOTHING that our children want more than for us to Love ourselves - so we can know how to really, truly Love them.

For most children and people "know they are loved".....and very very very few, feel loved. 

To be able to give Love, in a way that someone can feel it, means who you are for you, is Love. 

Parenting is the ultimate Spiritual journey! 

So - how many years have you been a parent - and what are you celebrating about you?? 

Don't dismiss that question. Pause. Come into your Heart. 

What are you celebrating about you?

If you find it hard to acknowledge yourself, if you struggle to celebrate your goodness and greatness - your child will feel unworthy to celebrate theirs. 

So... Make an effort to learn how to celebrate you. Not for you. For them... and for the generations to follow.

Reply to this email and let me know! Would love to hear what you're celebrating about you!

Sending love,
Yummii xx