What is your partner's love language?

Want to know your partner's/ children's triggers?

Look at their love language.

Want to know what has you get hijacked?

Look at your love language.

If you take it one step further, it will also give you a clear insight into what depletes a love tank exponentially! And what has someone feel most unloved. 

For my Mastermind Clients, I go through a process of understanding their baseline when it comes to Love and Relationships.

One of the frameworks I use is the 5 Love Languages from Dr Gary Chapman.

There is a light/ shadow to everything.

To improve your relationships and deepen the connection, do the following:

1. Figure out each person's Love Language
2. Start recognising that their Love Language is also their "Wounded language".

If your Love Language is Words, you are extra heightened by words.

For example - If your cup isn't overflowing and you're not full, Words are a trigger.

You're hypersensitive to everything that is said and will start nitpicking at words and taking words (including tone) very personal.

In a relationship with your partner/ children - understand that if they are not full, if they are stressed, or not at their best self, and you start having a conversation on how to improve things, they will hear this as rejection, abandonment, or judgement/ criticism.

Even though you don't intend it that way, that's how it will land.

Another Love Language is Quality Time. If either of you has a Love Language with Quality Time, cancelling something or continuously not making it a priority will occur as abandonment and rejection.

And so on. The other love languages are Physical Touch, Gifts, and Acts of Service.

Using the Love Languages can be an incredible pathway to knowing how to care for each other's wounds and support each other in creating more connection.

This is where communication and knowing how to "care for each other's wounds" matters.

We all come with baggage. We all have wounds. It doesn't mean we're broken. It means we're human.
Our wounds are like "bruises" that hurt when it gets pushed in.

So if your love language is words, and there are things your partners say in a certain tone that hurt or they withhold communication (stonewall) - have a conversation where you can own this wound and guide them on how to care for your wound.

If Words are also your Love Language, you want to be mindful that you may take it personally when your child screams or says things like "I hate you" because they are being a 3-year-old or "I don't want to speak to you". It's not personal - and these words can hijack you.

As a parent, the generational healing is in owning your trigger and meeting your child where they are at, not projecting your pain. 

No-one wants to hurt each other in a relationship. And your child isn't wanting to deliberately hurt you or be rude. 

So for this week, I invite you to dive deeper into the 5 Love Languages. Know what fills you up, is also what you're extra heightened too. Same goes for your partner and children.

Bring awareness to the triggers - and create a plan on how you can support and be more conscious with each other. 

One of the most loving things you can do in your relationships is know how to care (NOT carry) each other's wounds.

Sending love,

Yummii xx